• Moralistic judgment and static thinking block human connection and create violence.
  • All people's actions are to meet needs we all share as human beings.
  • Expressing our needs is a gift of giving and receiving freely from the heart.
  • People’s actions are the stimulus, never the cause of feelings and actions.
  • Communicate from internal need and joy to enrich/serve life, rather than for external rewards or to avoid punishment.

NVC Model

This model, based on NVC , is a language and consciousness that is learnable and can improve our relationships, using 4 components:

  1. OBSERVATIONS free of evaluations.
  2. FEELINGS straight from the heart; free of perceptions or judgments.
  3. NEEDS, values and longings, free from assumptions and expectations.
  4. REQUESTS expressed in a present, doable, specific form—free of demand.

In the Blame Game we blame others or ourselves. In NVC, we look behind our words to see what is in our heart and use the tools of NVC to:

  • Check in with ourselves what am I feeling and needing; or
  • Check in with "the other", what are they feeling and needing?

Simple? YES. Easy? NO. Fulfilling? Your choice!

NVC has been described as a language of compassion, as a tool for positive social change, and as a spiritual practice. NVC gives us the tools and consciousness to see clearly what triggers us, to take responsibility for our reactions, and to deepen our connection with ourselves and others, thereby transforming our habitual responses to ourselves and to others.

Ultimately, it involves a radical change in how we think about life and meaning.

The process of NVC is fully described in Dr. Marshall Rosenberg book: Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. Visit The Center for Nonviolent Communication